I have a friend who loves Yes! In fact, he loves it so much that he has named his consulting business, Live Yes, and…. His name is Travis Thomas and if you haven’t already started listening to his podcasts and daily Periscopes, you are missing out! And he has a book soon to be published too! (Follow this link to find out more about Travis and Live Yes, and…!)
I took a “30 days of Yes” course with him a couple of times. It is a real stretch for the places where I have preferred to settle back to my comfort zone, but even so (and especially because of that) I highly recommend it.
For example, one of the days the assignment is to call someone and tell them you appreciate them. I’m not sure I have done that yet during the course. (I am noticing that some days I just say no. haha!) To be honest, I am not a big fan of talking on the phone, unless someone like my sister calls me and we catch up and talk for quite a while. Otherwise, I have found texting to be a life-saver.
But I have noticed that recently, I have been making more phone calls instead of texting, especially when I am coordinating information or asking questions. I notice more light-heartedness about calling, that I am not as worried about what the other person will think or how I will get off, if the conversation goes too long. I just offer my honest need to go and let it go! Its almost an epiphany to learn that it can be so easy.
Today I had to make several (only 4!) phone calls to professors at a local university for whom I had no email address. On top of that, I had to invite them to an event and explain the purpose while I am still not very fluent in how to discuss it. I had been avoiding it for a few days and finally, today I did it. The first one I got a voice mail and hung up. Then I collected myself and called back and stumbled all over myself but managed to get through it. The second call someone answered! That was almost worse, and I pretty much fumbled around on that call too. By the third and fourth calls I was getting the hang of it and did pretty well leaving messages.
And even though I was a bit embarrassed in the moment on the call with a real person in particular, I was able to let it go immediately afterwards. What would be the purpose of holding onto it? They will either accept our invitation and attend or not. Thats the way of it.
And today, I said YES to walking into my darkness and doing what I was afraid to do, instead of staying in “no” and running from it. It’s a small step, but thats all it takes to move forward….one small step at a time.
I often sign off my emails with XOXO. It is my way of offering a virtual hug and kiss on the cheek to someone. There is an emoticon that looks like someone blowing a kiss which I have often used too.
I have regularly used the emoticon with my son, but when I signed off on a text once with xoxo, he yelled (in all caps) GROSS!! haha. I thought that was funny that he made a distinction between the two.
Since this is the only word that really came to me to write about with the letter X, I decided to go for it and looked up the XOXO to see where it came from. (The following info is from wikipedia.)
In the middle ages, the X was signed at the bottom of a letter or on an envelope to signify a cross and was intended to mean sincerity, faith and honesty. The signer would then place a kiss on it to indicate their sworn oath. There was also the fact that many people did not know how to write and so would place an X in place of a signature and again would place a kiss on it as a show of their sincerity.
Apparently according to internet lore, the O comes from North American heritage when Jewish immigrants came to this country and did not wish to use the Christian symbol to sign their name, so they used the O instead and placed a kiss on it.
I rather like the idea that XOXO is an indication of sincerity, faith and honesty. It is so much more than hug and a kiss and I look forward to thinking about this meaning when I use it in the future. Am I being honest and sincere? Where is my faith placed as I sign off my text or email?
And it will be fun to explain it to my son and see what he thinks if I use it with him. Will he then prefer that to the emoticon?
There has always been a place in my heart for this word, Wild. I don’t really understand its full meaning or resonance, but it definitely evokes something in me that is primal and vital.
Its not about acting wild. It doesn’t have to do with physicality either. It’s more of an honoring of the Source of my existence and living out from that with freedom.
If instead we choose to follow a broad path of acquiescence to societal norms and expectations, we may find that our spirit gets tamped down, caged and eventually withers us from the inside out.
We have all seen these withered people. Some are angry all the time (and rightly so). Others are despondent and depressed. And still others drink or drug their anxiety into numbness and oblivion (even prescribed medication can be a form of numbing because we refuse to acknowledge the real source of our ailment.) And we may recognize the withered one in ourselves.
I remember when the Dallas Zoo had all their big cats in small cages (some still are, I think.) Their life span at that time was 3 years! Ours might last a little longer because we let our anxiety seep out or drug it. But its worth noting that we can’t keep our true wildness caged for too long, or we will wither and die as well.
As for how to go about truly honoring what is inside, I can only suggest that we each find stillness and listen to the voice within. That voice is God, the Wild Original, and is calling to us always. The path to our expression of it is our own and will be like no one else’s, although we will find encouragement and camaraderie by others who have the courage to venture toward their wildness as well.
Today is a good day to begin or renew the journey.
My life has suddenly converged on this week with so much coming due at once. Several projects with contacts spread across the country, I have been emailing and writing and planning and coordinating. I also have a family and field trips and grocery shopping and care taking.
And today, one of the many tasks I must undertake is to find a “veil” for my son who plays Airsoft. This is a military simulation sport where participants fire plastic bb’s at one another. His request for a “veil” is a cloth of some sort (frayed, fringed or otherwise NOT flat) that he can camouflage to keep himself hidden at an overnight event. I plan to raid the local Goodwill store.
But of course, here again is an opportunity to look beneath the obvious to find the hidden inspiration.
In the book of Matthew (and Mark and Luke, too), the Bible talks about the veil of the temple being rent (torn) in two when Jesus died on the cross. Here is what GotQuestions.org says about the veil, “in the temple a veil separated the Holy of Holies—the earthly dwelling place of God’s presence—from the rest of the temple where men dwelt.”
I hadn’t really thought about the idea that a veil was a separation between God and man. In Biblical times, Jewish priests were the only ones allowed beyond the veil into the Holy of Holies and that only once yearly. So it seems that there wasn’t really a concept of God talking with an ordinary person (and never a woman or child!)
But clearly God did speak with men, women, and children! Even in the Bible. He/She isn’t confined to a room in a temple, and maybe this is what the Gospels are alluding to.
And while I can see that this notion is much more accepted today, I think there is a much greater sense of the presence of God that we can embrace. Its not just that God is over there caring for us over here. That still indicates a veil!
My concept of God is so much closer than that–to suggest that we are separate from God at all (even suggesting we are infinitely close) misses the mark. I like to think of God as All Life living itself as us. We are the verbs of Life. God runs, and we are the running, just as the wind isn’t separate from the blowing! Then the veil truly is rent!
I like the writings of Pema Chodron. She taught me how to stop judging others, to just allow people to make mistakes and be human. And she taught me how to be with myself without judging too. This has been particularly helpful.
One of the concepts she teaches about is groundlessness–another word for the unknown. Many spiritual teachers encourage their students to relax with what is unknown, to stop trying to outline or control the future, to stop pushing away what we are uncomfortable with, and to stay. After years of practice, I can say that this has been one of the best lessons for me to learn–stillness.
When we are faced with things we can’t control, when faced with the unknown, we often grope for something familiar, something to hold onto to steady us. And usually, we end up doing the same things over and over and over again. We react in predictable ways. We run away, we numb ourselves with addictive substances (alcohol, drugs, sex, food, tv, Facebook), we shut down, or we act out (anger, temper tantrums, depression, tears, sarcasm). No matter how you slice it, it ain’t pretty.
But learning to sit with the discomfort and just to stay, even to move in closer to learn what it is really about, is to learn to be still. And when we are still, we can see things more clearly than ever before. What seemed so terrifyingly unknown is actually very simple. We may not know what the next moment will bring, but it doesn’t matter, because we aren’t afraid to sit with it. Whether it is light or dark, we know we won’t run. Because we have learned to be still, we aren’t afraid of our reactions. Even if we choose to react, we soon see it in the reflection of stillness.
Then the unknown becomes a friend and an adventure. Everything is an opportunity to learn more about this amazing Life and our place in it.
I have often lamented the battery of standardized tests that my kids have to take every Spring. It isn’t given just to score how well the school is teaching children in my state, it determines whether they can move up to the next grade level. I find it tantamount to treason (and 2 more T words!)
In life though, as we learn new concepts, we are often put to the test. The situation comes up once again, suspiciously similar to the last one that “taught us a lesson.” And we have the opportunity to put our new-found knowledge to use. Or not.
If not, we can be assured that it will come up again…and again….and again. Life is very thorough in that way. We will get to keep repeating this grade level until we pass the test. Then we are given more to handle.
I have thought about this in terms of career and relationships and other life responsibilities. Like many people, I would love a successful career. But have I demonstrated that I can handle the one I have yet? And I realize I have no idea how I would handle a lot of clients or customers or commissions. I don’t know how to do large-scale business deals. These things I am not even prepared to approach!
Its been a great thing to notice this so that I can watch for what lessons I am learning and what tests I am being given. And great incentive not to fall back on the old ways of doing things but to take what I learn and use it.
Today is Earth Day, possibly my favorite day of the year. I am particularly fond of this little corner of the universe and all those who inhabit it.
This morning I received an email from a certain retail establishment that I frequent. The subject said, “Celebrate Earth Day with Free Shipping.” And the obvious ridiculousness of that prompted this post.
How about we celebrate Earth Day by NOT shopping at all? I recently took a quiz online (here) to see how many earth’s it would take to support the whole population if everyone in the world lived like me. I live in North America, so I wasn’t surprised to see that it would require 4.7 earths. This was not an encouraging number (and that means that Mars alone isn’t going to help much if we were thinking we could just colonize another planet.) In this article, I learned that Earth Overshoot Day was in August of 2015–the day that the 7.1 billion people on this planet passed the mark of consuming more resources than our planet can sustain!
So it seems essential that I take steps to improve my footprint on the environment. Pollution from the constant growth in manufacturing goods (not to mention the extraction of materials from the earth) is causing great harm on the environment, regardless of your position on global warming. Whatever we can do to lessen our impact will help Her to breathe a little more easily and allow us to live on it for a longer time.
I believe this starts with our thoughts, as all things do! So before I reach for something sweet, for example, I ask myself, why do I want this? Am I trying to sweeten a feeling in me? Do I feel sad or upset or lonely? The same is true about our “need” to purchase things we don’t actually need. Its worthwhile to ask ourselves do we really need this? Or are we filling an emptiness inside? Is the rush of walking through a beautiful store and choosing things distracting us from something we find unattractive?
Sitting with these questions for a bit (it won’t kill us and in fact, might help us!) instead of compulsively buying more stuff is the best thing we can do for our home, planet earth. And perhaps, with all of that extra time and mind-space freed up, we might come up with new technologies that improve the environment while providing food, clean water and sanitary living conditions for everyone on the planet.
Today was a quiet day. I really, really like quiet. It gives me space and time to think and not think, and to just be.
But when I think about it, is it ever really completely quiet? No. There is always sound. Always. And if I stop to listen, I will hear it. The air conditioner running. The refrigerator. A bird calling. The wind. A far off truck rumbling down a highway. Maybe even a lawnmower (although I rarely miss hearing those!!)
Really what I notice is the more still and quiet I am inside, the more I notice these other things that are present with me now. This is true for noticing the more subtle aspects of my personality as well. Things may go unnoticed–an irritation with someone, a nagging feeling that something isn’t quite right in a situation, a physical discomfort–until we get very quiet and still within.
I love a quote by William Butler Yeats,
“We can make our minds so like still water that beings gather about us that they may see, it may be, their own images, and so live for a moment with a clearer, perhaps even with a fiercer life because of our quiet.”